ฝึกพูดภาษาอังกฤษด้วยเทคนิค Shadowing จากวิดีโอ: Fluffy Goes To India | Gabriel Iglesias

Martin and I just got back from India.

Yeah.

So let me tell you, I started posting on Facebook and Twitter that we were going to go out there to do these shows.

And then people started sending me messages questioning what I was going to do.

First of all, are they going to understand you in India?

Will they understand English okay?

Will they be able to follow along with your stories?

Once we got there, I come to find out

that more people speak English in India than in all of the US and Canada put together.

Might as well throw Mexico in there for extra credit.

Because there's that many people, and yes, they have the internet.

They got the internet, they got Bollywood, they got Hollywood.

They understand American culture so much more than we understand theirs.

Second thing, people tried to warn me about going over there.

Gabriel, be careful.

India is a third world country.

Don't drink the water in India.

It contains parasites that'll make you really sick.

Don't eat the food from the street people, especially the street meat.

It contains a parasite that'll make you really sick.

And most importantly, there's a lot of crime over there.

Don't stay out late.

When the sun goes down, you go down.

I'm like, is it that bad?

Parasites.

So I'm like, let me get this straight.

There's a lot of crime, don't stay out late, don't eat any of the food from the street vendors, and don't drink the water.

Why does that sound familiar?

That's Mexico!

When Martin and I got over there, we found out that Indian people and Mexican people have so much in common, you guys.

I'm telling you, it's insane how similar we are, especially the food.

The food is so similar.

For example, Mexicans love tortillas.

Indian people love naan bread, which is a fluffier form of a tortilla.

Mexicans love chicken.

Indians love chicken.

Mexicans love hot and spicy.

Indians invented hot and spicy.

Most popular drink in India is Fanta.

Indian people worship cows.

Mexicans love barbecues.

A lot of similarities.

Most of the people that I met over there were very hard-working and humble.

And I got to tell you, every time I talked to someone, I was always greeted the same way.

They'd look at me, they'd put their hands together, they'd do a little bow, and they'd say, Namaste, which is an endearing hello.

It's really nice and sweet.

And then I noticed that Indian people, when you're talking to them, do this thing with their head where it will begin to move side to side as they're speaking.

Now at first when you notice it you think, oh he slept wrong.

He just got a kink in his neck.

Get a Tempur-Pedic!

Now when they start speaking their head starts moving and I notice this.

The guy is checking us into the hotel and he's really cool.

He's like, listen, if you have any problems at all, you call the front desk, you press zero, we will send somebody to your room to help you.

Whatever you need, we got it for you right here, okay?

It's very good.

Now one thing I notice is the more they talk and the more excited Indian people get, the more the head starts to move around.

Somebody at the hotel yelled out to the clerk, that's fluffy, and the guy was like, oh my God, I don't believe it, I can do it now, I thought it was you, I thought it was you, oh my God, I cannot believe it,

this is so crazy, oh my God, fluffy, fluffy, fluffy.

Even crazier than that is that the mouth is actually connected to the neck.

When the mouth stops moving, the head stops wherever the mouth left off.

And when you see Indian people talking to each other, you can see it.

Okay, let me tell you something, okay, okay hold on wait wait wait wait wait okay like if you're Indian and you stutter you are so screwed

somebody stop him

I'm not gonna lie you guys

when I first saw this happen I thought it was hysterical I thought it was funny

but then I started thinking about it head movement is just a form of expression.

No matter where you live in this world, people express themselves in their own unique way,

whether through facial expressions, hand gestures, body movement, extra words.

Everywhere you go, things are different, and that's just how they express themselves in India.

Now, back to the whole Indians-Mexican thing.

That is something else that we share in common with Indian people.

Head movement.

Now, some of you in the building tonight are like, stupid it we don't have head movement yes we do it's

a little different see with Indian people the head movement is

side to side Mexicans our head movement is front to back the difference between that is

that with Mexicans we have to be very very upset in

order for you to see the head movement otherwise you can't tell with With Indians, it's all the time.

Oh, today's such a nice day.

It is such a beautiful day today.

I'm so happy.

It's very nice, very good.

Oh my God, I can't believe it's so nice.

Mexicans, when we're mad, that's when it comes out.

For non-Latinos, hey, trust me, you cut off a Mexican in traffic, see what happens.

That's funny.

I don't know why the black people are laughing.

You guys take it all.

Oh no, you didn't.

Oh hell no. I know he ain't talking about me.

Uh-uh.

I hear the bell.

I made myself dizzy doing that.

So let me tell you guys, if you ever get the opportunity to travel to India, I encourage you to check it out.

You are going to see some beautiful things.

You are going to see some amazing things.

You are going to see some sad, depressing things and some real horrible things.

Overall, it's a well-balanced trip.

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Now when you get back home here to the United States, you will have a whole different appreciation for your life.

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Believe that.

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I guarantee this, you guys.

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There's a lot of people in India.

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And with a lot of people comes a lot of traffic.

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First things first, American traffic and Indian traffic, very different.

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Here, whatever happens on the freeway will stop the whole freeway.

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In India, there's ten times the traffic, but it moves.

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See, the problem is Americans, we're fascinated by accidents.

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We're fascinated by the idea of seeing potential death.

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That's why we slow down on the freeways.

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We say we don't want to see it, but what happens in traffic?

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You know, ah!

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What's going on over there?

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There doesn't even have to be a collision.

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You could be on the 101 freeway and a car has a tire blowout and it spins.

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Doesn't hit anything.

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It's now facing oncoming traffic.

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You know what happens to the rest of the freeway?

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Even on the other freeway where there's no accident.

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And again, what's going on?

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It's going on.

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I'm sorry, somebody might be dead.

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Sorry.

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In India, if there's an accident in the middle of the street, you know what they do?

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They drive right around it.

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They don't stop.

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And it's not that they're not sensitive to the situation.

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They are.

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It's just that there's so much chaos that happens on a regular basis.

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They just need to get to work.

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They do see what's happening.

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And believe me, they're heartfelt.

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You know, they'll drive around.

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I'm so sorry for you.

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Nothing stops the flow of traffic in India.

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They need to get from point A to point B.

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And so they go.

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They go.

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If there's an accident, they drive around.

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If there's something blocking the street, they get on the sidewalk to go around.

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It's amazing the way they drive.

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And here's something else.

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No one uses turn signals over there.

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No one uses turn signals.

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They use a horn.

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Now, if you go to India tomorrow, from the time you get there to the time you leave, You're constantly gonna hear a horn.

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It's an actual language when people are driving.

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I'll show you you're driving

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Car car car on your right car car on your left

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Car car light up ahead they talk to each other while they're driving and they barely miss each other every

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Single time also you'll be on the 101 freeway here, and there'll be six lanes in India You'll see six lanes,

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but guess what you'll see 12 cars across Yes, they have lines, but they're basically there to let you know more or less the direction you might want to go in.

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They're this close to each other, and even at the light, they communicate.

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You see everything.

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Cars, trucks, vans, motorcycles, pedestrians, cows, children, all waiting for the light.

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And they talk at the light with the horn.

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Very good, you can go.

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You can go.

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Welcome, you're welcome, go go.

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Nothing stops the flow of traffic over there.

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Indian people drive.

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Think of ants.

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You know how ants travel in a straight line?

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And if there's something in their way like a rock, ants will split up, go around the rock and reunite or climb over the rock.

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Worst case scenario, they dig a hole and go under the rock.

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That's the mentality of driving in India.

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A man can get shot in the middle of the street.

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People just look at each other.

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Somebody pick him up.

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And they'll drag his ass onto the sidewalk.

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And if there's an accident and they need to get around, guess what's going to happen to that guy on the sidewalk?

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Nothing stops the flow of traffic in India.

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Except a cow.

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Now, I know we've always heard the stories and the jokes about, oh, Indian people don't eat hamburgers.

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I asked a question and I found out.

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It's believed that cows are people who have died and they've been reincarnated.

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And their new life is now the cow.

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Which is why they don't eat them and why they give them all the love and respect in the world over there.

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I saw this firsthand.

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There's a cow crossing the street while we're driving.

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And the cows know.

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They're cocky.

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They know that they can cross.

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Here we go.

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All the cows.

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And the cows out there are all cocky.

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No one honks at the cows,

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no one yells at the cows, no one touches the cows.

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They wait for the cows to finish crossing.

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The cow that we had laid down.

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The driver just shut off the car.

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tweeting there is a cow in the middle of the street hashtag mumu

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I asked the driver what's going on sir there there is a cow I see

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that there's a cow are you gonna honk at it go

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around what's what's gonna happen we cannot we We cannot honk the cow.

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We must wait for the cow to move.

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You're kidding.

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I am not kidding.

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We must wait for the cow.

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We drove past a dead body 15 minutes ago. That is probably him.

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Like seriously, the driving situation over there is so intense, you guys.

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One morning, one morning while we're there, I needed to get to the airport fast because I overslept.

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And so I get in the cab and I hand the driver a $50 bill.

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And I go, sir, I am running very late.

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I need to get to the airport as soon as possible.

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Whatever side street you have to take or back road, I'm all for it.

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Whatever you have to do, let's do it.

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And I hand him the money and he goes, very good, let's go.

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And we take off.

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The guy is hitting anywhere from 50 to 70 miles an hour on the street.

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We are making incredible time.

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I notice that we're heading in the direction of a red light.

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Have you ever been in a car with someone?

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and you're paying attention to what's going on and you notice that you're about to hit a red light,

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and you know how you start to mentally and physically prepare yourself for the deceleration of the car, and you start anticipating the pressure from the brake,

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and if you don't get the sensation of slowing down by a certain point, all alarms go off in your head, and you sock the driver in the chest.

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Hey!

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Not only did I not get the sensation of slowing down, I got the opposite.

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He gunned it towards the light.

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And it caught me off guard.

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I couldn't even scream.

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I was like, and then, and then I got air.

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Hey, pull over, pull over.

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He didn't even know what he did.

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He looks at me, he goes, what is wrong?

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What do you mean?

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What is wrong?

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Dude, didn't you see the red light?

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As calm as can be.

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Didn't you see?

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There was no one there.

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You told me, whatever you have to do, okay?

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Whatever you have to do, you do.

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Do you want to yell or do you want to make plane?

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He made a good point.

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I sounded like a third grader.

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I want to make plane.

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Like seriously, that's a video game I want to see.

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I want to see Grand Theft Auto India.

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It was so crazy, you guys.

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And this is just us being there.

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I haven't even gotten to the part of us performing.

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We were in Mumbai, Bangalore, and Delhi.

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Okay, these three places is where we went to perform.

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Mumbai and Bangalore, the shows went over very, very well.

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Okay, there were about 1,500 to 2,000 people, which is amazing for us going over there.

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I was like excited, yes.

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And then we get to Delhi.

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And when we got to Delhi, you guys, it got a little crazy.

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Martin walks out on stage and the crowd recognized him.

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And they started chanting, Martin!

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Anytime I hear that, I'm like, they know him, it's gonna be a good show.

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So Martin starts cracking jokes.

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The crowd starts laughing.

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He's cracking more jokes.

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The crowd keeps laughing.

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All of a sudden, I hear this.

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Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.

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Martin doesn't say a word to them.

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He gets off stage, next comedian comes out, and then Martin comes over to me and he says, Bro, I don't know what's going on, man.

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I don't know what's going on out there.

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There's these three guys in the front row.

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They're laughing like Klingons from Star Trek.

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I'm not going to address them.

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I'm going to save them for you.

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I was like, oh, thank you.

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So then Martin goes back out there on stage, and he introduces me ladies and gentlemen gabriel iglesias

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and then i run out on stage and the crowd started chanting fluffy fluffy

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and i was like what's up delhi

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and i start cracking jokes start getting laughs start cracking more jokes start getting more laughs and then it happened

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Now see me, I can't avoid things, especially when it's front row center.

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So I addressed it.

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I came right out and I said, well, hello.

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I said, what do we have here?

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I said, so where are you guys from?

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And the guy in the middle looks at me and he goes, we are from Germany.

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I said, cool.

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We have Germans in the house.

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And the whole crowd got really weird.

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You could hear them.

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They freaked out because they thought I was gonna start making fun of the German people.

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And one guy even stood up.

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Don't do it!

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Don't do it!

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Don't do it!

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I go relax bro, have a sit.

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Don't do it!

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I'm not gonna make fun of the German people.

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That's the last thing I wanna do is offend them.

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I don't wanna end up outside in an alley somewhere freaking in two hours.

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And this is the last time we are going to tell you, do not make fun of German people.

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As I'm doing this joke about a German kicking me on the floor with the accent, here's where it gets crazy.

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I get hit in the side of the head by a bat.

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Listen to what I just told you, Bay Area.

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I get hit in the side of the head by a bat.

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Not Major League Baseball.

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I'm talking about I'm going to suck your blood.

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In India there are millions and millions and millions of fruit bats and one of them, actually six of them, made it inside of the building

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and they're flying around and they're hanging out in the rafters

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and one of them decides to fly down and basically

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when I was doing the kicks I stepped into the line of flight of the bat and he caught me right here.

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I'm like what the hell?

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I look up and you see it and you can hear it.

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The Indian people saw that and they freaked out.

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They were yelling, they did it!

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They did it!

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We told you, don't do it!

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We told you, don't do it!

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They are evil!

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They are evil!

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I'm like, dude, I don't care how evil you think the Germans are.

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They don't have control over bats.

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It wasn't like the guy got offended and said, oh really?

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Unz release the bat.

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So now the crowd is weird.

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These guys are laughing.

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Ah, ah, ah, ah.

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And there's freaking bats flying around the theater.

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First two minutes of my show.

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I gotta do an hour.

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And now I've already lost the crowd.

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They're freaking out.

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These guys are laughing weird.

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I'm nervous.

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It's my first time there.

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I don't know how to get out of this.

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So I literally walked over to the other side of the stage

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and I started just performing for this side of the room.

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Trying to redirect the focus right here.

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And I'm so nervous.

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I'm stuttering.

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I don't even have a segue.

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I'm like, you know what's crazy?

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In America, everybody in America likes drinking.

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You know, it's real crazy.

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For example, Mexicans, most Mexicans, we like drinking tequila.

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Most black people like Hennessy.

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Most white people like Jaeger.

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Here in India, you guys like Fanta.

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And when I said Fanta, the crowd went crazy because it was such a local reference, they freaked out.

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They were like screaming, oh my God, he knows, he knows.

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They started singing.

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Fanta, Fanta, don't you wanna, Fanta, Fanta, don't you wanna, Fanta, Fanta.

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The roar was so big, it allowed me to restart my show.

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So I started cracking new jokes and more jokes and these jokes and those jokes.

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Five minutes go by.

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Five minutes go by, all of a sudden, the Germans got offended at the fact that I left them out of my drinking joke.

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The one in the middle stands up and he approaches the stage.

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Now this stage has got to be about five feet tall.

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The guy's head was about this high.

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He was like 6'4".

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He looks at me and he starts pointing and he's yelling.

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Hey, Fat Nan!

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Fat Nan!

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What about us, huh?

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What about the Germans?

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What do we drink?

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I was like, dude, that was like five minutes ago.

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We were giving you a chance!

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What do we drink?

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I'm like, first of all, sir, I apologize.

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I'm really nervous right now.

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I had no idea there was gonna be Germans here tonight.

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Yeah, it felt like Poland.

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I don't care if you laugh or not, that's a smart-ass joke.

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That's a smart-ass joke.

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It's not my fault some of you pendejos failed history.

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You better Google that and find out why it's so damn funny.

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All the older white people are like, eh, goddammit, yeah.

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So anyway, so I'm standing there and I go, listen, sir, you need to have a seat, okay?

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Okay, the people are getting nervous.

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You need to have a seat so I can finish the show

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and the guys he refuses I will not sit down fat man until you tell us what we drink.

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I go listen I don't know what you guys drink and the Indians are being so cute.

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They're trying to help me.

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They're yelling.

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Hey, they like Fanta too And the guy was like we don't like Fanta I go sir, please have a seat.

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I will not have a seat until you tell us what we drink.

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Tell us fat man I go listen sir, you need to sit down and you need to stop calling me fat man Now it's starting to bother me.

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It's like the sixth time he does it.

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And I didn't just lose 100 pounds to now get called Fat Man.

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So I go, sir, if you don't have a seat, we're going to have a problem, especially if you call me Fat Man again.

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And he freaking did it.

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What are you going to do, Fat Man?

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What do I drink?

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Even Martin, who's behind the curtain, knew.

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He knows when I'm at that point where I've crossed over.

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I can hear him in the back.

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Don't do it.

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Too late.

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Fluffy's pissed.

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So I said you want to know what you drink?

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Tell me!

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Don't ask me where this came from I got right in his face and I said blood of juice

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Now see automatically you guys gave me a whole different reaction

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in delhi that was probably the most shocking thing ever said on that stage so shocking that

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2 000 people at the exact same time got

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so quiet you guys so quiet you could hear everyone's ass just

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and i'm still standing there my hands out have you ever said something that was so bad and I mean,

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you knew it was bad as it was coming out of your mouth, and you're trying to stop it, but it's too late.

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It's already out, and you're like, no. And it's too late.

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Blood of juice is all over his face, right?

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I'm standing there, and my hands are out.

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I'm looking at him.

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He's looking at me, and I'm like, ah!

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He says, that's a good one.

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Yeah, that's a good one.

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Oh, my God, thank you.

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Thank you.

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It doesn't end there.

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I'm telling you guys, this is so crazy So next morning, Martin

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and I are flying back home to Los Angeles from Delhi

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We're taking an airline called British Airways We go from Delhi to London, England And we have a connecting flight over there Once we get to England,

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they canceled our connect for whatever reason And so we got rebooked on another airline Called Lufthansa It's a German airline

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Now this is why I believe in karma.

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Seriously, Martin's like, really?

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Blood of Jews?

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I'm like, I know!

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I felt like they phoned ahead.

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Unz, take care of Fluffy.

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So I put down my credit card.

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I made sure that Martin and I got upgraded to at least their business class, because it's like a long flight.

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And, um, so we're in there, we're on the plane, and the plane takes off.

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About 20 minutes into the flight, we're just sitting there, we're laughing.

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And the flight attendant she starts coming down the aisle with a little cart Okay, she's coming down the aisle and she sees me and she goes hello, sir.

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Oh, do you have a preferred drink of choice today?

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Martin looks at me taps me in the chest and he goes hey tell her

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Tell her bro come on ask for if anybody has it Dude, shut up.

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And then she looks at Martin.

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Sir, do you have a preferred drink of choice?

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And Martin's like, yeah, you guys got blood of...

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She's like, Bloody Mary?

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Yes, yes, Bloody Mary.

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Freaking Macheta's gonna get me banned from flying.

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So we make it back home.

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I'm trying to tell the story to my girlfriend and my son.

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And my girl, she's barely laughing.

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She's like, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.

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Like, she's jaded.

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She doesn't laugh at my jokes anymore anymore.

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My son Frankie on the other hand he is dying.

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And I'm like really?

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He's 16 years old.

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I go really Frankie you thought that was funny?

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He goes yeah that's funny.

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I go what was so funny about my story?

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He goes those people you're talking about.

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I go who the Indians?

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He goes no the other ones.

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I go the Germans?

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He goes yeah that's funny.

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I go what's so funny about the Germans?

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The way that they speak.

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I go what's so funny about the way that they speak?

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He goes they sound like the three little pigs from the movie Shrek.

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I had to go on YouTube and freaking find it and sure enough all three little pigs, Uncia, hello Shrek!

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I was just waiting for one of them to go, Fat Man!

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Hey, it's my name!

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It's time to let you know this is my back and show.

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Hey, it's my name!

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ฝึกพูดภาษาอังกฤษด้วยเทคนิค Shadowing จากวิดีโอ: Fluffy Goes To India | Gabriel Iglesias

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