쉐도잉 연습: How To Read People Without Them Knowing - 영상으로 영어 말하기 배우기

Fans love Sherlock Holmes for his ability to notice things that most people ignore.

I was wondering, maybe later, when you're finished.

You weren't wearing lipstick before.

I, uh...

While Sherlock is a fictional character, there are ways you can learn to read people in real life to better understand what they're thinking

and feeling without them saying a word.

No individual read will be foolproof, but together, they can start to paint a picture for you.

Not unlike how Sherlock deduced that John Watson had recently served overseas.

Yesterday, I said Afghanistan or Iraq.

The haircut, the way you hold yourself says the military, no tan above the wrists.

If your lips are really bad when you walk, you don't ask for a chair when you stand like you've forgotten about it.

It's an action, suntan, Afghanistan, Norway, Iraq.

Since the goal is to help you be more charismatic, we'll focus on reading someone's interest, comfort level, and emotions.

We'll also go over how you can use this to improve your dating life, career, or friendships.

While you may never match Sherlock Holmes' detective skills, you can certainly beat him in that.

I don't have friends.

Let's start with the easiest thing, reading other people's interest.

The first place to focus is an obvious one, the direction of their gaze.

Most of us do this unconsciously already when we're the ones in conversation.

You can tell when someone's interested because they maintain eye contact, and you can tell someone is losing interest as their gaze starts to wander.

Where most people don't apply this is when they're observing other people interacting.

For instance, let's say you're at a party or networking event, and you see someone you want to get to know.

If you see them looking around a room while somebody talks to them, That's a good sign that they're bored or uncomfortable and would welcome it if you approach their conversation.

For an over-the-top example from real life, watch Tom Hardy lose interest while Leo answers this interview question.

These men actually did this and we and within the context of...

If this were a social event, that'd be a sign that he's open to a different conversation.

The second thing you want to get better at reading is body language.

Specifically when it comes to interest, take note of the direction someone's feet are pointing.

We subconsciously want to point our bodies towards people we have interest in, but most people have learned not to be obvious if they like someone, and so they resist that urge.

Almost no one tries to consciously control the direction of their feet, which means the feet act like a compass, pointing towards people we're interested in.

This works for people who are standing as well.

If you're standing in a group of people, keep an eye out for where people point their feet

and you'll get a clue as to who is more or less interested in you.

After engaging someone in conversation, the next thing you'll want to do is read their comfort level.

This is useful because some people are too polite to express discomfort, but if you can spot it, then you can save a conversation before it goes poorly.

Some common signs of discomfort are crossed arms, looking down, fidgeting, or shifting your stance.

But the sign that most often gets ignored is a rigid body.

Here's an exaggerated example from Suits.

I'm alive.

While we'd all hopefully notice that one, you'd be surprised how often people ignore this sign when it's more subtle.

So let's say you're trying to make a sale, or you've just put your arm around somebody on a first date.

If their body language stiffens and you continue to push forward, you'll likely make a bad impression.

But if you notice and ease off, then you still have a chance to establish trust and rapport, and potentially form a great relationship.

The next level of reading someone is learning to read their emotions.

Sherlock sometimes goes to unrealistic lengths to read emotions, like in this clip where he explains how he knew Irene wasn't faking her crush on him.

Because I took your pulse.

In real life emotions can be harder to read than interest

or comfort level because it's the area people are most skilled at hiding

So the question is how do you get a read on someone's emotions when they're actively trying to be unreadable?

Three areas that give away key details are the face throat and chest

The first thing to look for is a micro expression on the face

That's an involuntary expression that only lasts for a moment.

Sherlock is a master at catching these small changes Learning how to read every single micro expression would take serious training,

but just being aware enough to look for them gives you a leg up on reading people.

Because even if you don't catch what the emotion is, seeing a micro expression instantly tells you two things.

One, something just triggered an emotion so strongly that it wasn't possible to repress it completely.

Two, because the person didn't allow the emotion to be expressed, you know it's a reaction that the person wants to hide.

For a real life example, watch Robert Downey Jr. go through a range of micro-expressions in his infamous Channel 4 interview.

Notice how because he's promoting a movie, he keeps trying to return to a positive face, but he can't hide the other emotions from briefly appearing.

I'd really like to ask you about a quote you gave to the New York Times.

And I don't want to pry, so if you don't want to talk about it, that's fine.

But what you said to the New York Times once was...

This was a clue to the interviewer that he's entering sensitive territory.

Unfortunately for him, he was not good at reading Robert that day, so he plowed on and started to ask about his time in prison.

That question did not go over well and led to the following tense exchange.

Watch for two things.

First, Robert makes a good read about the interviewer's nervousness based on his leg.

And second, Robert's mouth drops when the guy starts to speak again at the end of the clip.

No, I'm not agreeing.

Your foot's starting to jump a little bit.

You better get to your next question.

You, um...

We'll come back to this interview again in a minute when we talk about the chest.

But first, the second area that gives you information about what someone is feeling is their throat.

Specifically, watch for a hard swallow.

If you see someone start to swallow their spit more frequently or more noticeably, that is almost always a sign of nerve.

This is a very reliable sign of nervousness

and it can also be helpful when you're trying to figure out if someone is lying.

Although not every hard swallow is a sign of dishonesty.

The third area that can cue you into someone's feelings is their chest.

If you see someone's breathing shift from their belly to their chest, that is a sign that they're trying to hold in a negative emotion.

For example, watch Robert Downey Jr. at the end of this interview as he tries to hold in his anger.

You've talked in other interviews again about your relationship with your father

and the role of all of that in the dark periods you entered, and taking drugs and drinking and all of that.

You can see his chest starts to rise and fall more noticeably as he gets heated.

Unfortunately, the interviewer is so wrapped up in what he's saying

that he doesn't read the signs until it's too late and Robert walks out mid-interview.

So those are six things specifically you can watch for if you want to get better at reading someone's interest, comfort, and emotions.

But there's one last thing that surprises most people.

If your goal is to improve your charisma, then the most important person to get good at reading is yourself.

Look at me, I'm afraid, John.

Afraid.

Specifically in areas like social situations or work meetings, pay attention to any time you form a strong positive or negative opinion about someone.

For example, let's say you're in conversation and catch yourself thinking, wow, I really like this person.

That's your cue to think back to what they just did or said in the few seconds prior, and consider if it's something you can do yourself going forward in conversation.

That said, if you want a list of charisma best practices so you don't have to rely solely on reading yourself, I highly, highly recommend How to Win Friends and Influence People.

Despite this super cheesy title, this is one of the best resources for anyone who wants to improve their people skills.

If you want to check it out for free, you can get the audio book thanks to our sponsor for this video, Audible.

Just go to audible.com slash charisma or text charisma to 500-500, and you can sign up for a free 30-day trial, which includes any audio book you want.

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You'll also get access to a monthly selection of Audible Originals.

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These are audiobooks available only on Audible from creators like Mel Robbins, Mark Manson, Kevin Hart, and Neil Gaiman, just to name a few.

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The nice thing about Audible is you can listen to it while you're doing things like run errands or doing chores.

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So no matter how busy your day is, you're always able to find time to learn and grow.

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Again, if you wanna try that Audible trial and get How to Win Friends and Influence People for free, you can go to audible.com slash charisma or text charisma to 500-500.

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Either way, I hope that you enjoyed this video and I look forward to seeing you in the next one.

쉐도잉이란? 영어 실력을 빠르게 키우는 과학적 방법

쉐도잉(Shadowing)은 원래 전문 통역사 훈련을 위해 개발된 언어 학습 기법으로, 다언어 학자인 Dr. Alexander Arguelles에 의해 대중화된 방법입니다. 핵심 원리는 간단하지만 매우 강력합니다: 원어민의 영어를 들으면서 1~2초의 짧은 지연으로 즉시 소리 내어 따라 말하는 것——마치 '그림자(shadow)'처럼 화자를 따라가는 것입니다. 문법 공부나 수동적인 청취와 달리, 쉐도잉은 뇌와 입 근육이 동시에 실시간으로 영어를 처리하고 재현하도록 훈련합니다. 연구에 따르면 이 방법은 발음 정확도, 억양, 리듬, 연음, 청취력, 말하기 유창성을 크게 향상시킵니다. IELTS 스피킹 준비와 자연스러운 영어 소통을 원하는 분들에게 특히 효과적입니다.

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