Shadowing Practice: How To Read People Without Them Knowing - Learn English Speaking with Video
Loading...
1
Fans love Sherlock Holmes for his ability to notice things that most people ignore.
2
I was wondering, maybe later, when you're finished.
3
You weren't wearing lipstick before.
4
I, uh...
5
While Sherlock is a fictional character, there are ways you can learn to read people in real life to better understand what they're thinking
6
and feeling without them saying a word.
7
No individual read will be foolproof, but together, they can start to paint a picture for you.
8
Not unlike how Sherlock deduced that John Watson had recently served overseas.
9
Yesterday, I said Afghanistan or Iraq.
10
The haircut, the way you hold yourself says the military, no tan above the wrists.
11
If your lips are really bad when you walk, you don't ask for a chair when you stand like you've forgotten about it.
12
It's an action, suntan, Afghanistan, Norway, Iraq.
13
Since the goal is to help you be more charismatic, we'll focus on reading someone's interest, comfort level, and emotions.
14
We'll also go over how you can use this to improve your dating life, career, or friendships.
15
While you may never match Sherlock Holmes' detective skills, you can certainly beat him in that.
16
I don't have friends.
17
Let's start with the easiest thing, reading other people's interest.
18
The first place to focus is an obvious one, the direction of their gaze.
19
Most of us do this unconsciously already when we're the ones in conversation.
20
You can tell when someone's interested because they maintain eye contact, and you can tell someone is losing interest as their gaze starts to wander.
21
Where most people don't apply this is when they're observing other people interacting.
22
For instance, let's say you're at a party or networking event, and you see someone you want to get to know.
23
If you see them looking around a room while somebody talks to them, That's a good sign that they're bored or uncomfortable and would welcome it if you approach their conversation.
24
For an over-the-top example from real life, watch Tom Hardy lose interest while Leo answers this interview question.
25
These men actually did this and we and within the context of...
26
If this were a social event, that'd be a sign that he's open to a different conversation.
27
The second thing you want to get better at reading is body language.
28
Specifically when it comes to interest, take note of the direction someone's feet are pointing.
29
We subconsciously want to point our bodies towards people we have interest in, but most people have learned not to be obvious if they like someone, and so they resist that urge.
30
Almost no one tries to consciously control the direction of their feet, which means the feet act like a compass, pointing towards people we're interested in.
31
This works for people who are standing as well.
32
If you're standing in a group of people, keep an eye out for where people point their feet
33
and you'll get a clue as to who is more or less interested in you.
34
After engaging someone in conversation, the next thing you'll want to do is read their comfort level.
35
This is useful because some people are too polite to express discomfort, but if you can spot it, then you can save a conversation before it goes poorly.
36
Some common signs of discomfort are crossed arms, looking down, fidgeting, or shifting your stance.
37
But the sign that most often gets ignored is a rigid body.
38
Here's an exaggerated example from Suits.
39
I'm alive.
40
While we'd all hopefully notice that one, you'd be surprised how often people ignore this sign when it's more subtle.
41
So let's say you're trying to make a sale, or you've just put your arm around somebody on a first date.
42
If their body language stiffens and you continue to push forward, you'll likely make a bad impression.
43
But if you notice and ease off, then you still have a chance to establish trust and rapport, and potentially form a great relationship.
44
The next level of reading someone is learning to read their emotions.
45
Sherlock sometimes goes to unrealistic lengths to read emotions, like in this clip where he explains how he knew Irene wasn't faking her crush on him.
46
Because I took your pulse.
47
In real life emotions can be harder to read than interest
48
or comfort level because it's the area people are most skilled at hiding
49
So the question is how do you get a read on someone's emotions when they're actively trying to be unreadable?
50
Three areas that give away key details are the face throat and chest
51
The first thing to look for is a micro expression on the face
52
That's an involuntary expression that only lasts for a moment.
53
Sherlock is a master at catching these small changes Learning how to read every single micro expression would take serious training,
54
but just being aware enough to look for them gives you a leg up on reading people.
55
Because even if you don't catch what the emotion is, seeing a micro expression instantly tells you two things.
56
One, something just triggered an emotion so strongly that it wasn't possible to repress it completely.
57
Two, because the person didn't allow the emotion to be expressed, you know it's a reaction that the person wants to hide.
58
For a real life example, watch Robert Downey Jr. go through a range of micro-expressions in his infamous Channel 4 interview.
59
Notice how because he's promoting a movie, he keeps trying to return to a positive face, but he can't hide the other emotions from briefly appearing.
60
I'd really like to ask you about a quote you gave to the New York Times.
61
And I don't want to pry, so if you don't want to talk about it, that's fine.
62
But what you said to the New York Times once was...
63
This was a clue to the interviewer that he's entering sensitive territory.
64
Unfortunately for him, he was not good at reading Robert that day, so he plowed on and started to ask about his time in prison.
65
That question did not go over well and led to the following tense exchange.
66
Watch for two things.
67
First, Robert makes a good read about the interviewer's nervousness based on his leg.
68
And second, Robert's mouth drops when the guy starts to speak again at the end of the clip.
69
No, I'm not agreeing.
70
Your foot's starting to jump a little bit.
71
You better get to your next question.
72
You, um...
73
We'll come back to this interview again in a minute when we talk about the chest.
74
But first, the second area that gives you information about what someone is feeling is their throat.
75
Specifically, watch for a hard swallow.
76
If you see someone start to swallow their spit more frequently or more noticeably, that is almost always a sign of nerve.
77
This is a very reliable sign of nervousness
78
and it can also be helpful when you're trying to figure out if someone is lying.
79
Although not every hard swallow is a sign of dishonesty.
80
The third area that can cue you into someone's feelings is their chest.
81
If you see someone's breathing shift from their belly to their chest, that is a sign that they're trying to hold in a negative emotion.
82
For example, watch Robert Downey Jr. at the end of this interview as he tries to hold in his anger.
83
You've talked in other interviews again about your relationship with your father
84
and the role of all of that in the dark periods you entered, and taking drugs and drinking and all of that.
85
You can see his chest starts to rise and fall more noticeably as he gets heated.
86
Unfortunately, the interviewer is so wrapped up in what he's saying
87
that he doesn't read the signs until it's too late and Robert walks out mid-interview.
88
So those are six things specifically you can watch for if you want to get better at reading someone's interest, comfort, and emotions.
89
But there's one last thing that surprises most people.
90
If your goal is to improve your charisma, then the most important person to get good at reading is yourself.
91
Look at me, I'm afraid, John.
92
Afraid.
93
Specifically in areas like social situations or work meetings, pay attention to any time you form a strong positive or negative opinion about someone.
94
For example, let's say you're in conversation and catch yourself thinking, wow, I really like this person.
95
That's your cue to think back to what they just did or said in the few seconds prior, and consider if it's something you can do yourself going forward in conversation.
96
That said, if you want a list of charisma best practices so you don't have to rely solely on reading yourself, I highly, highly recommend How to Win Friends and Influence People.
97
Despite this super cheesy title, this is one of the best resources for anyone who wants to improve their people skills.
98
If you want to check it out for free, you can get the audio book thanks to our sponsor for this video, Audible.
99
Just go to audible.com slash charisma or text charisma to 500-500, and you can sign up for a free 30-day trial, which includes any audio book you want.
100
You'll also get access to a monthly selection of Audible Originals.
101
These are audiobooks available only on Audible from creators like Mel Robbins, Mark Manson, Kevin Hart, and Neil Gaiman, just to name a few.
102
The nice thing about Audible is you can listen to it while you're doing things like run errands or doing chores.
103
So no matter how busy your day is, you're always able to find time to learn and grow.
104
Again, if you wanna try that Audible trial and get How to Win Friends and Influence People for free, you can go to audible.com slash charisma or text charisma to 500-500.
105
Either way, I hope that you enjoyed this video and I look forward to seeing you in the next one.
Master Reading People: Learn English While Decoding Body Language & Emotions
Who Is This Guide For?
This content is perfect for English learners looking to boost their english speaking practice and communication skills. Whether you’re navigating social events, dating, or career interactions, understanding nonverbal cues helps you connect more naturally—all while improving your language fluency. It’s ideal for intermediate learners ready to move beyond basic phrases and into real-world conversation dynamics.
Words & Idioms Worth Stealing
- Paint a picture: To create a clear understanding (e.g., "Their body language painted a picture of discomfort").
- Beat him in that: To surpass someone in a specific area (e.g., "You might not be a detective, but you can beat him in reading emotions").
- Establish trust and rapport: To build a connection based on mutual trust (e.g., "Easing off helps establish trust and rapport").
- Push forward: To continue aggressively (e.g., "Don’t push forward if their body stiffens").
How to Get the Accent Right: Shadowing Technique Tips
To master the speaker’s clear, conversational tone, use the shadowing technique (or "shadow speak"). Here’s how: Play short clips of the video, pause, and repeat the lines aloud, mimicking the rhythm, stress, and intonation. Focus on phrases like "the feet act like a compass"—notice how "compass" is emphasized to highlight its importance. For tricky words like "rapport" (ra-POR), practice saying it slowly, then integrate it into sentences. The speaker uses casual contractions ("you're," "don't")—imitate these to sound more natural. Shadowspeaks (repeating immediately after the speaker) helps train your ear to catch subtle cues, like the rise in pitch when asking a question: "If their body language stiffens, would you continue?" This not only improves pronunciation but also helps you recognize emotional cues in tone, a key skill for reading people.
Key Takeaways for Reading People (and Speaking Confidently)
By combining nonverbal cues with language practice, you’ll communicate more effectively. Remember: Gaze direction and foot placement reveal interest, rigid bodies signal discomfort, and facial/chest movements betray hidden emotions. Use these insights to adjust your speech—if someone’s gaze wanders, simplify your message; if their feet point toward you, lean into the conversation. This balance of observation and adaptability will make you a more charismatic speaker and listener, whether in dating, career, or friendships.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.